The Longest Pun Thread Ever

Behold the glory! 

What you are about to witness is a single thread of puns from Facebook that I've copied and pasted (text only). The contributors, who clearly have too much time on their hands, are Jordy Williams, Lucy Ballentine, Max Borders, and myself, with a few cameos by others here and there. And yet, it is quite amazing that a single topic with its related linguistic particularities can yield so many puns. It seems that the capacity for play with language is unlimited. I simultaneously laugh my head off at this and marvel at it.

Luke Hankins Yeah it is a pun! A play on the word "overboard" -- in one case used literally, in the other figuratively.

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams right, but it's fishy

19 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Jordy Williams A proper pun has to have a good hook to it, generally a one line-r, and be a real s[t]inker

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Says who? You got a rule book??

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins And "fishy" is really reaching, you know...

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams You wanna take a pole on the issue?

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams I Just want to make sure I'm herring you correctly

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins What -- the Polish are experts on puns?

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams poll/pole fishing pole...have you ever told a pun before?

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Pole = Polish person. I got yours, believe me!

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams ‎(i'm aware of the nationality) but your lack of pun skills are lutefisk

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams They could use a Tuna'p

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Cuz I gots puns on Lox down

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams My fish puns could Filet whole book

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Yeah, they're not as shark as they used to be. But I wasn't bragging about my pun PROWess. Just sharing some funny LINES.

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins You're nautical person.

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Would you offer your book for sail?

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Oooh no reason to get so Stern. It's just a friendly JIBberish

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins You can't take offense so easily in this land, Ho.

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams But moving to the general nautical puns when we weren't FINished with the fish ones is just sea-cowardly.

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams I can get p'Irate if i want to

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams I'm free to do whatever I like in this Union, Jack!

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins ‎("sea-cowardly"? I'm struggling to make cents of that. I'm just not buying it.)

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine wow you guys....

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams sea cow is another name for a manatee

19 hours ago · Like ·  1

Jordy Williams ‎(manatees also happens to be my knickname at work. HEYO)

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins First, mate, you should keep inside jokes out of this.

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams and again, you're straying aweigh from the pun subject at hand. You need to stay anchored to one, otherwise it turns into poop(deck)

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Man o' tees? I make tee shirts? side pun. nvm

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins You're un-ballast.

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine lame.

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins I know I'm lame. That's why I have a peg leg.

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams better than the puns you've mer-Made

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins And Lucy, pun up or shut up! ;)

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Aye. Patch em up quick.

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams someone might think you're three sheets to the wind

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Ok, Jordy. I yield. You're the pun MASTer.

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins I'll go walk the prank.

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine no need to be a beach luke.

19 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Jordy Williams She shore showed you with that one

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins LB enters the foray with a resounding blow to my pride!

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine sorry im a bit crabby today, i hope you under-sand.

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams hit with a resounding BOOM! (part of the main sail support..)

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams oooh. Lucy is doing whale here

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine anyway, water you guys up to?

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins I'm going to go below deck and blubber.

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Wave been punning for the last 15 minutes. You?

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams So does that mean I win the Tidal?

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Don't Anchorage him, Lucy. He's clearly rudder up.

19 hours ago · Like ·  1

Lucy Ballentine you guys have gone a little overboard with this.

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Points for that one

19 hours ago · Like ·  1

Jordy Williams Lucy, if we don't make him stop, hull just keep on going

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams ‎(i meant the Anchorage pun)

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins On that note, Lucy, read the link that originated this volley, and you'll see that "overboard" has already been used!

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine what did the ocean say to the other ocean?

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Nothing.

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine and i know, im not that shellfish.

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams long time no sea?

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine he just waved

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams ah...

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams I bet Lucy could keep going tiller head spins

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams oar she can't think of more puns

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Alright, me hearties. It's off to bed for me. Set the watch and keep 'er pointed Sou'westerly.

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine well ship, i wreck'en ill just keep going.

19 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Jordy Williams Goodnight. See you monSoon

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine ill need an act of cod to think of more.

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine why luke do you not see any porpoise in this anymore?

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Lucy, you have no sole

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams The pun road has gotten too s'curvy for him

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams he's gone to sleep with the fishes

19 hours ago · Like ·  1

Lucy Ballentine we need kelp jordy.

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams He just can't deal with this carp anymore

19 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Get off my wall, pun'ks!

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams ooh a pun pun! One i've never heard. Extra points!

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams You can't Mako me stop

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine im sardine to have trouble coming up with new puns

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams If you keep up punning, one day dorsal open for you

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine gosh luke is such a part grouper.

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine party*

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Haha. Well, it's true we shouldn't make Ahab-it out of this

19 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Lucy Ballentine oh dont be koi jordy.

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams but what if it fish Sticks?

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams I'll Pond-er it for a while

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine well im stumped, but jordy i think your current-ly the best at puns.

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams I guess I do hold the Tidal.

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine only cause i have alot on my brine.

19 hours ago · Like ·  1

Jordy Williams hahaha

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams That Lucy, shell never disappoint you

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Just as long as you're not Board with this Walk of life

19 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams And what's on you mind? Be s'Pacific

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine dophinately.

19 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Jordy Williams You know what Luke Hankins' favorite style to write nautical puns is? Gulf Stream of consciousness.

19 hours ago · Unlike ·  2

Lucy Ballentine im just to tide up with moving.

19 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine wharf about you?

19 hours ago · Like ·  1

Jordy Williams hahaha

18 hours ago · Like ·  1

Jordy Williams I don't know how many moor I have

18 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine quit floundering around jordy!

18 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine well we made it to 100 comments oar should we have stoped before.

18 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams we're in a league of our own

18 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams It's getting late. I think I've Haddock

18 hours ago · Like ·  1

Jordy Williams But I'm certainly not raising a white flag

18 hours ago · Like

Eli Whipple this post is outrageous... i haven't seen its equal

18 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine whale done sir, whale done.

18 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams I wish someone had been more mean spirited so i could call them a Moby Dick or a blow holw

18 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams hole*

18 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine you deck!

18 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Whale, Jonah'ver know what's inside me

18 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine hahahahha!

18 hours ago · Like

Allen Bergal I'm awash with this current of puns!

12 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Oh buoy. I will net forget this.

10 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Oh cod, are you sardine this again?

10 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins I call foul (weather). "Sardine" has been used earlier in the thread!

10 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams oh yes. totally shameless recycling of a pun. It's hard to think of new material when it has grown to this Scale

10 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams so don't s'Pout about it

10 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams cuz we are squAll guilty of it

10 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Don't squid yourself. You're dredging the bottom.

10 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Thinking I'm through would be a titanic mistake

10 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams this is just the tip of the ice berg

10 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams in puns, I'm king of the world

10 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins We'll sea, Old Man.

10 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Don't worry, you'll change your nepTune

10 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Don't hold your breath.

10 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins This thread is so scuba'd.

10 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams you can Tri and Dent my pun ego, but soon you'll be poSeidon with me

10 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams don't Bends over backwards trying to come up with them

10 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams are you treaSure you want to keep going? Something you want to get off your Chest?

10 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Sirens, fool! Your animosity is downright unIthical.

10 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Ar you Mada at me?

9 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins I find you quite odysseus. You should just go Homer.

9 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams I'm only Kraken the surface

9 hours ago · Like ·  1

Luke Hankins Clearly you don't have anything else to octopi your time.

9 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams You Illi'Ad me at Odysseus

9 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Jordy Williams will you calaMari me?

9 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins This is strait up addicting. I may founder myself without a job if I keep this up.

9 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins I'm bailing out. Off to work.

9 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Better get your Berring's strait!

9 hours ago · Unlike ·  2

Lucy Ballentine are you guys squiding me?

8 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams What do you thINK?

6 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams It's seamen likely

6 hours ago · Like ·  1

Luke Hankins I think all three of us are eel.

6 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine i shrimply cant think of more puns.

6 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Jordy Williams Once you get this far along, it becomes a tough roe to hoe

6 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine clam we take a break?

6 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Jordy Williams Thinking about bowing trOut?

6 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Just mussel through it

6 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine im floundering to come up with any more, oar did we already use that one?

6 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins ‎(Both "flounder" and "oar" have been used -- the latter multiple times.)

6 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins ‎(But I don't mean to puntificate.)

6 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine my bad.

6 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Luke, no need to be bOyster-ous about it

6 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins This thread clearly demonstrates our tunacity.

6 hours ago · Like ·  1

Lucy Ballentine i bait that was one of the best puns yet.

6 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Jordy Williams ‎(p.s. I must mention that i am amazed that language can work like this. I ♥ language)

6 hours ago · Unlike ·  2

Jordy Williams Tuna's been done. 'Wake' up

6 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins ‎(Hasn't been done that well, though! "Tunacity" is killer!)

6 hours ago · Like ·  1

Luke Hankins I want to copyright this thread. But maybe I'm just shellfish.

6 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams No that's ok. I'll write up the Conch-ract

6 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Jordy Williams But I don't know if you can aFjord it

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins I'll shell out the cash. Just make sure you coral-ate all three of us as copyright holders.

5 hours ago · Like ·  1

Lucy Ballentine theres somthing fishy about this whole thing.

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Maybe we could start a SCHOOL. We could start a pirate program to test the waters on this idea.

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Cannon you come up with any new ones?

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins ‎(Max Borders, WADE into this thread -- or at least read it.)

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams This thread is a MANTAtory read for Hannah Sophia Platt

5 hours ago · Unlike ·  2

Luke Hankins How would you RAYte it on a scale from 1-10?

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams We may have found a Peer-on-a new level (piranha)

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins ‎(reeeeeeachiiiiiing....)

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams oh please. These are all algaenius

5 hours ago · Like

Lucy Ballentine i have a feeling i will bream about this tonight.

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins It gets hard tooth ink of sharp ones after a while, but if you wade it out, the possibilities are more extrenchive than they first appear.

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams It krills me that you made it to the trench puns before me. I was trying to fit it in

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Somebody kelp me come up with the claws we need to include in our copyright statement.

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Yeah you wouldn't want a breech of conch-ract

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins We want this document to be water-tight.

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins ‎(or a BREACH...)

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams you want some hull'p?

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Breech = cannon part, breach = whale surfacing....either way...

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins ‎(Wait -- I do need hull'p! "Breach" is what a whale does, which is what I meant.)

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders Oh Neptune. This is abyss-mal.

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders Holy Mackerel, I can't read them all.

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams There is a Long Line of them...

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins You better, chum.

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders I should sponge some of these.

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams The list is quite sea cuCumbersome

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins I don't advise it. You'd be sunk. We've copyrighted the shoal thing.

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams We've Orca'strated quite a good list

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Yeah. It's KILLER.

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams I'm not surprised you're Beluga'red by it

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins How's that legal document coming, Jordy? Ready to SEAL the deal?

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams I think these puns should stay Free, Willy.

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders Okay, stop all this NAVAL gazing.

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins I'll do what I want on my narWHAL.

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders Now sea here, Luke.

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams I'm going to Carrier all the way to the finish

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams I'd schooner die than stop punning

5 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Jordy Williams Max, it's Charter than you think

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders Whale, you've certainly a-MAST quite a list

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Not to toot my own horn, but I think others would have run aground long ago.

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders They're just anchored to their busy schedules.

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins I just hope island on my feet when this is all over.

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders Grotto go, soon.

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders This is so much fun perhaps we should charge atoll?

5 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Luke Hankins I'm not sure they have the brain mast for this foam of thinking.

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Don't harbor any resentment after you leave

5 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Luke Hankins This is AVAST subject...

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Hatred for puns is Nauticool thing

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders Gimme some moor.

5 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Luke Hankins We've got to LEEve off somewhere...

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders I'm going to keel over

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders Jordy, your stuff is truly admiralble.

5 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Luke Hankins He's just parroting what he's heard elsewhere.

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams That was not a welcome shot across my bow

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins What -- seamen shot across your bow??

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders Perhaps pirating the best booty.

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders The others should have been urchin us to stop by now

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders Perhaps we can all develop better FB morays

5 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Luke Hankins They're not paying attention because they're just fair weather friends.

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Don't become my pun anemone

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Sea how Gullible Luke is?

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Some of these comments are squallid.

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders Don't be o-FIN-ded if I have to shove off

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins You BOWing out?

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams That's just Albatrocious

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Like a rat from a sinking ship...

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders Water you saying? I'm brine dead.

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins ‎(I meant SWABle)

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams I was wondering..

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders Amber? Jack?

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins ‎?

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Isn't that a beer?

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins I didn't PEG you for a punster, Max...

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams ah...a fish

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams yet still weak

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Anchor Steam is a beer.

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders Fine. I'm floundering now.

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders I sea kelp.

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Jordy, we've left Max in our wake.

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams He may have barBados farewell

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins I knew this was a surf-fire topic, teeming with possigillities.

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams He couldn't deal with un Antigua-nizing him so much

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Isle send him an apology letter

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins We were a bit Indies-ent.

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams we've been holding a steady Gallop-agos

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders Hull-arious. Still here. Had to void my blowhole.

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins Bott-le probably still be upset.

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders Boy you guys got me caught up in this hook, line and sinker.

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins ‎(This is the British Navy, Max. Use the Oxford comma.)

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams ‎^thank you :)

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders I'll (Edward) Teach you to correct my grammar, arrrrr

5 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Jordy Williams you mean your grammarrrrrrr?

5 hours ago · Like ·  1

Jordy Williams Eye patch your puns up. Don't worry about it

5 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Luke Hankins Any sopranos among us? We need someone to hit the high seas.

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Tri Cornering some one who sings

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins I shanty be able to find anyone...

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams Maybe you should be dubloon your efforts.

5 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Max Borders One good tern deserves another.

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins I'll just tarnish my reputation...

5 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams ok I have work to do. Bowing out for the moment

5 hours ago · Like

Luke Hankins I wreckon it's about time to call it quits. I'm mizzen out on other things.

5 hours ago · Like

Max Borders Bon Voyage, sailors.

5 hours ago · Like

Carly Borders What just happened???

4 hours ago · Like

Kendall Hudson I can't decide if you guys are amazing or just dorks lol =P

3 hours ago · Like

Jordy Williams ‎~250 puns = Amazing dorks

3 hours ago · Unlike ·  3

Allen Bergal OMG! Get a life(raft) y'all!

3 hours ago · Unlike ·  1

Max Borders So will you pool these into a volume? With a tidal?

3 hours ago · Unlike ·  1